not always bitter and angry

So yeah, even I am sick of my pissiness now.  So again I apologize so big to anyone that is around me.  SORRY SORRY SORRY!!!!!  I feel like I cannot say sorry enough or prove that I appreciate you putting up with my shit.  Really so appreciated like you have no idea.  Appreciated like Whoa.

I can't control it.  The weirdest littlest things set me off.  Either make me pissed, make me want to cry, or make me have a weird alien laugh.  Hopefully when I get my plate I will stop being certifiably crazy.  Neuro says that is part of my problem.  But there is not enough room to get into all my problems.  ;)
Believe it or not, sometimes I am trying to pull myself together and then other times I am like WTF???  How much more am I gonna get thrown at me.

My head and brain hurts in ways I cannot explain while doing the simplest thing.  Well simple for some people.  But my brain scrambled friends, you know Mental Fatigue!!!!
For example...only ONE person knows this, but here I go putting all my business out there....I mostly have no shame.  I do know the difference between left and right.  I really do.  But a majority of the time I have to think about what shoe goes on which foot.  Then I will put them on and still think they are not on the correct feet.  They feel fine, but look wrong to me.  So I will take them off and switch.  Then they feel weird and look weird so I know the first try was right.  Yeah, I am 31 not 4 years old trying to figure out shoes.
That is just one example.

But here is a random bit of things that have popped into my head.  See, I can be amusing and not Super Bitch all of the time. I do have some random happy ideas floating in my head.   Trust me you don't want to know the other ideas.  HAHA!  ;p

Bigger Penis? Enlarged Breasts? Refinance your home. You won a......, Mortgage lenders working for you, some man in Nigeria wants to give you a batrillion dollars. Enlarge your breasts/penis while you fill out your forms to refinance your home and the Nigerian will give you a batrillion dollars.  Gotta love spam email, this is a mashup of the kind of crap mail I want.  

What do cats and dogs do when they are left home alone? I bet they Salsa Dance.

Having a Jeep covered in Grateful Dead and Phish stickers next to a DARE to keep kids of drugs sticker is like Kettle One Vodka sponsoring AA

I was driving behind a School for the Deaf van.  That was all well and good until the driver started signing to the passengers with both hands while driving!   Ummmmmm….is that safe?  Really???  I laughed and was concerned all at once.  I let that van get waaaaaaaaaaaaay ahead of me.

So, on the way home tonight I was letting loose a torrent of curse words for all of the ass hole drivers out here. I said the typical asshole, assclown, and asshat...but then i let forth with ass pie, ass helmet, ass booger, and all different versions of ass you can think of. By the time I made it to my apt, i was cracking myself up. I think ass pie put me over the edge. I also think I need to get out more.

I love jumping in puddles.  Do I need a helmet now to jump in puddles?


Honestly, what if people did greet each other by sniffing asses?  I mean really,what if we did that?  That could be awkward to say the least.  Especially the day before someone has to have a colonscopy or the day of.  HAHA.


Ok, enough random for now.  I need to start writing my random happy weird thoughts down instead of being PIss pants all the time.