brain scramble list.

I know i joke about some of my issues, things I may be feeling or doing since my scramble.  But check this list out that I got from a brain scramble website.  HA!  I am not making up the new version of me.  :)  There are minor differences between Mild Traumatic Brain Injury and Severe Traumatic Brain Injury.  I will go with the STBI list since I was severe.  Yeah, my high functioning ass was severe.  Well, my brain was, not sure about my ass. :)  I am gonna add my own comments to some of these.  

• Attention - Huh, what now oooooh......look there is something over....wait what was I supposed to be doing, oooh dishes need washed let me text someone and get on facebook and look at the leaves blowing OMG its my favorite song on the radio.
• Concentration
• Distractibility
• Memory
• Speed of Processing - Hello slow like an old computer.  
• Confusion 
• Perseveration - yeah I perseverate.  Obsess over things, think about it until I do it accomplish it, or talk about it.  So glad I know the mental health lingo too so I diagnose myself.
• Impulsiveness - I am leaving this blank. I am not Impulsive at all.  I dont impulse shop, impulse meet people, impulse drive, impulse text etc.
• Language Processing
• "Executive functions"

Speech and Language

• not understanding the spoken word (receptive aphasia)  I understand the words though sometimes I get confused by the point that is trying to be made.
• difficulty speaking and being understood (expressive aphasia)
• slurred speech
• speaking very fast or very slow
• problems reading
• problems writing

Sensory

• difficulties with interpretation of touch, temperature, movement, limb position and fine discrimination.  Hello no tolerance for heat and cold

Perceptual

• the integration or patterning of sensory impressions into psychologically meaningful data

Vision

• partial or total loss of vision - Goodbye upper peripheral vision it was nice knowing you for 30 years
• weakness of eye muscles and double vision (diplopia)
• blurred vision 
• problems judging distance Have a bitch of a time parking now for sure or maneuvering shopping carts telling how close or far I am from people
• involuntary eye movements (nystagmus) EYE TWITCH!!
• intolerance of light (photophobia)

Hearing

• decrease or loss of hearing- like being born deaf in one ear wasnt a bitch enough and now I have been going to the ear docs for my hearing ear cuz the hearing is worse now.  AWESOME
• ringing in the ears (tinnitus) YUP
• increased sensitivity to sounds

Smell

• loss or diminished sense of smell (anosmia)  - nothing smells the same.  I miss the smell of men cologne.  I am afraid to eat yogurt or drink milk sometimes because i cant tell if it is good or bad

Taste

• loss or diminished sense of taste - things dont taste the same for sure.  Most times things taste super salty.  Chocolate and candy and whatnot doesnt even taste the same.  Neither does coffee.  :(

Seizures

• the convulsions associated with epilepsy that can be several types and can involve disruption in  consciousness, sensory perception, or motor movements

Physical Changes

• Physical paralysis/spasticity
• Chronic pain
• Control of bowel and bladder
• Sleep disorders _ yup, havent really slept since October 6 2009
• Loss of stamina Napping is a new hobby.  I try to do some thing I try I try and sometimes I just fade away
• Appetite changes
• Regulation of body temperature _ yeah my base temp is not 98.6 any more.  LOWER.  and I cant tolerate heat or cold now.
• Menstrual difficulties

Social-Emotional

• Dependent behaviors - luckily not on drugs or alcohol (yet)  I say yet because  it could happen but I hope it does not.  But I am dependent on people and social interaction though alot of times i dont want to be around LOTS of people. 
• Emotional ability
• Lack of motivation - Hellz yeah.  I need to motivate myself to start working out again and to clean and to try to go to grocery store
• Irritability - YES most times I am irritated with myself and my new "faults"
• Aggression - verbally for sure and i am at the point where I dont care really who I piss off
• Depression- YES since my life is change without my consent.
• Disinhibition- YES YES YES,  LOL, that is all I am going to say on this one.  
• Denial/lack of awareness- Oh I am hyper aware,normally of my faults and minor deficits.  I have got to stop beating myself up

Those of you that know me can pick out what I have now.  Yes again, I know I am lucky to not have them all.  But life still stinks since the scramble.  Yeah I am alive, but I still don't concur with my day to day life.

My mood goes everywhere now.  I have been feeling dizziness sometimes or just the feeling of things moving when they are not. HELLO Vertigo, not nice to meet you.  I am losing my words more.  I actually feel mentally fatigued now when I feel I need to think too much or concentrate too much.  It is such a weird feeling and it kinda makes me miserable.  SORRY MIKE!!!!!

I know the year mark is the sign for "recovery"  that is just when the most happens but there are still things that I need to improve.  There will always be the back steps.  But it is what it is.