Wednesday, April 3, 2013


I'm excited scared and apprehensive about my new life yet again.  New life meaning job life.  Paranoia and self doubt is a big part of this version of me....but I've gotten better with that too.
But as I ponder I also have some clarity maybe.  To the "friends" that have left me....I thank you....maybe.  If it weren't for the depression and wicked loneliness and being scared for myself maybe I would not have manned up and had balls enough to try and try for jobs.   Loneliness was a big factor.   So to David and Brad I finally thank you for being assholes and leaving me.  Maybe if it weren't for that part I wouldn't be trying yet a new life being a nursing assistant.
As usual...this is not the life I ever dreamed of or thought of.  I figured if I'd ever be working at a hospital it would have been Western Psych.
  So those that were once a HUGE part of my life and are no longer.....thank you.  With you guys gone I've made new friends.  Desperate for friendship and human contact I fought for jobs and jumped on the dating sites bandwagon hard.  I've meet quite a few asshat jerk faces on the sites....but I've also made a couple friends.
  To the "old" friends that are actually a part of my life thanks for dealing with my version of life.  With job drama, boy drama, medical drama.  Thanks for being there thru it all.  Just stick around and keep me sane thru the new work drama that is bound to happen.  And keep cheering me on when I panic about tests I'll have to take.
  I know I don't give myself enough credit.  Even nurses on TBI tell me I don't give myself enough credit.  But I do have fears and doubts. 
   So to ex friends, old friends, and new friends.  Thank you!!!!!