I wish there were more real life people in my life. I love my facebook people, but I need more real life people too. Again, to harp on the same ol same ol, i really miss my friends I had before I decided to rearrange my brain and have a cluster fucked life. D, B, M, D, S. I miss you as friends. Some day I may put in all of the letters of the names and really throw ya out there. The real life people I see the most have PhD, MD, MSW after their names. Or they work at Giant Eagle, Kmart, or Family Dollar.
I pretty much never liked weekends, even in my before TBI life. I always needed to be busy busy busy and now I need it even more. But now I need it to celebrate the things in my life. The things that to most people are normal occurances but to me are a pretty big thing. I guess almost dying and having a brain rearrangement and trying to over come things, makes things more exciting.
I used to text people when I had my first stand up shower. I texted people when I was able to go to the grocery story without freaking the hell out. I texted people when I got my first haircut. I texted people when I drove at night. I texted people when I drove in a thunder storm. I texted people when I drove in a little teeny bit of snow. These are major mother effin accomplishments for me.
I texted people and posted on facebook about my interview! I left with such a good feeling and then the next day to find out I had an offer was pretty THRILLING. I just wish I had people to celebrate with. I need to bring fun and joy back into my life. I put up a front, but lots of times I dont find things really fun, and that is because I cannot let go of the old me, my old life. I need to do that. This is not a call for pity or sympathy, it is just stating facts. Its just that every little thing is a cause for celebration for me and I dont really get to celebrate. It is what it is.