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I just feel the need to write but I don't know what to say.  Lots going on in my world and some of it I cannot make public just for people's privacy.

Today I saw 2 kids that I knew in my past life, my Hoban 1.0 life.  Boy looked at me and I smiled at him and then he got a huge smile on his face and ran up to me hugged me and said "I didn't know you until you smiled you have a good smile Miss Kara"  It's shit like that I miss on a daily basis.  Unconditional love from kids no matter how "bad" they are.  He was so excited telling me he is in first grade now and not kindergarten and he is 7 not 6 any more and he is trying to be good and misses me. I truly am super popular with the 13 and younger crowd and the 65 and older men.  HA!!!  Guess I need to open a spot for kids and old men to hang with me.  Wonder Woman's House of Acceptance.  I will need a body guard for the dirty old men though. hahah!!
Saw another little girl today and she looked at me, walked away and then came up to me and asked why I was different.  I said I was not and she said i looked different.  I said it was because i had more hair now.  And then she said she did not know me any more.  Said I am the same person and I still love her and I just look different doesn't mean I am different.  She then hugged me and said I was bomb!

Take my job away from me doesn't mean I am not still gonna talk to the kids or help the kids if they see me in the community.  I can still do life skills and not get paid for it.  It is part of my core being, part of ME, I may have broken my brain but the part of me that wants to help kids is not gone.  So suck it!

My mood has been going everywhere lately and I truly thank the person that has been putting up with me on a daily basis.  I am erratic now, random, getting angry, sad, and happy.  HELLO CRAZY!!  :)  Not crazy, just trying to still find my new normal which is really friggin hard to do.  I know people are gonna say there is no such thing as normal, but I need some normalcy, some pattern, some daily activity, etc.  The autistic part of my new brain needs normal.

At this time last year I was still in the hospital.  This will be my first Halloween in this apartment.  Kids that I know have said they are going to try to find where I live.  So I bought candy just in case.  This should be interesting if they find me.  I have a feeling that if they find out where I live I will be having random visitors at random times.  HA!  At least I have clearances and can prove i am not a killer or child abuser if people freak out.  HA!  But honestly, this will be interesting if kids figure out where I live.  Not sure how I am gonna handle this.  Hopefully they don't find me.

Yeah this is like my public "Dear Diary"  Just verbal or written diarrhea I have tonight.  Need to get some stuff out there.  Helps me, helps me sort things and helps me make some of my shit public obviously. Since some people don't talk to me anymore but I know they read this stuff.  Again, am I really that scary since the scramble?  I am essentially the same person.  Maybe a little more verbal about some things, a little more active on other things, a little more emotional, but I am still the same.  And lots of you don't even know the emotional aspect of me anymore since you don't friggin communicate or hang with me anymore.  Again, suck it!

Enough rambling until we meet again...
    WW