Sunday, February 6, 2011

High Functioning

Thank god I am a fighter.  I am so so so frustrated but I refuse to give up.  Trust me there are days I want to, want to just thrown in towel and say Eff It.  But I won't.

I went to what I thought was an eval for Cognitive Rehab the other day.  It was just a meeting.  To tell me places I might be able to go to and to try to find out about waivers, etc.

Ummm...I swear to god I need a case manager because I need the cog rehab because I cant do shit like this on my own.  Afraid I will make wrong choices and I just get overwhelemed and confused about shit like this.  But whatever!! I will put on my big girl panties and try to figure this all out on my own.  As usual....and this battle is a friggin hard one to do on my own, but I am used to it, but that doesn't mean I am any less angry or bitter.  I do have some help, but we all know I feel like a burden/pain in the ass since my injury.  But I really do appreciate the help.   I just don't know what direction I am supposed to go in.  And I feel frantic, like this all has to be done NOW NOW NOW!!!!

And speaking of angry.  I really think the titanium plate has helped with my anger just a little bit.  I am not off the hooked pissed like I was when I had the skull piece taken out.  Yeah I am still angry, but not to the level I was.

There was more I wanted to write, but because I did not type fast enough, I forgot.  LOL.  Damn scramble brain.

Oh, one more thing I do remember that I waned to say is I hate hate hate the H word.  Meaning High Functioning.  The doctor I just went to, the physiatrist (same guy I had in rehab hospital) said something about me being high functioning and pretty sure I stopped listening to him after he said that.  I seem to be getting screwed left and right in the brain injury world because I am high functioning.  Yes, I know I am LUCKY.....i know i am high functioning, I know I am not vegetative,but for the love of god I STILL NEED HELP!!!!!!!!!  Every time I hear the words High Functioning I get so pissed.  And sometimes, just sometimes I wish I was worse off.  (not really,but I think that out of all of the frustrations!!!!!)

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