This is right from my facebook, but this is for those of you that are not part of my Facebook world. I know there are others out there that follow this. For the rest of you, sorry for the repeat.
Today had my follow up with neurosurgeon and CAT scan. So far so good. Seems like I am heading in the right direction. He said that CT looked good.
I now have to go see a oral/maxillofacial surgeon. Hopefully just for some exercises or ways to deal and no no no surgery! Since my last surgery my jaw line has been hurting, on both sides. A dull pain and then when i try to open my mouth wide it hurts a bit and there is a TEENY TINY bit of swelling on the right side where I have been cut open many many times. Neuro wants me to go see this kind of doc. Ok, no big thing, yet another doctor to add to my collection. Some people collect stamps, some collect Beenie Babies. I collect doctors.
But do not tell me I thrive on this crap!! I do not. My laughter and humor and "embracing" it is my way of dealing with all of this. But it's not like I want more doctor appointments!
In October of 09 I made a bad decision. I got on a motorcycle as a passenger and you know what they say about hindsight. And this is how I now have the life I have. TBI is not something that just goes away. And with multiple skull surgeries there are bound to be some side effects not related directly to the brain and how I function as a TBI human.
I even hate that I label myself. But I am TBI, I am a survivor, I am what I am. I may not thrive on this, but I do dwell on it. Because I am still learning me and learning to "get over it" and just accept shit.
I know I joke, but I really think UPMC should just give me my own wing. Honestly, they really should. I have earned it and put lots of doctors kids through college all by myself.
So now I gather more docs. This maxillofacial surgeon, and then I am also trying to get some Cognitive Therapy. I have a doc for that too. I am getting an evaluation and hope I qualify. If not, I guess I gotta put on my super big girl panties and hope I can cope and try to get a job without looking like a complete fool. Cognitive therapy is not like talking therapy. It is not for depression or anger, it is for me to figure out ways to make choices, to answer questions without my head feeling like it is going to pop off, ways to not feel overwhelmed by life, ways to filter noise, ways to concentrate and ways to just deal with me.
This TBI over the past 15 months has repeatedly tried to knock me down. It keeps trying, it is putting up a good fight, but I am fighting harder. Sure I may cry and be a hot mess somedays, but I am still fighting!! We all have our down moments in life, mine just seem 10 fold sometimes and I make mine public to you all. Maybe making it public has a bit to do with my dis-inhibition!
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