Giffords and my TBI

Some of you have said something or asked me about the Giffords thing.  Here is some of my thoughts/input and just general rambling.

Watching the whole Giffords things is easy and hard at the same time.  It definitely has effected me.  Is this the right "effect" to use?  Damn crazy english language!  :)
But honestly, it is weird.  I feel like I am getting to see/hear kind of what I was like.  Sure I dont remember my beginnings thanks to a coma and general brain scramble confusion so it is weird to see what is going on with her. It is kind of like seeing my own beginning!  The one thing that sticks with me and I have posted on FB is the whole pic when she is in her bed outside of the hospital.  The feeling of being outside when I can actually remember it was awesome!  I hope she can remember the feeling if not the exact moment.
It is also kind of hard watching it and I sometimes get angry and sad at the same time about the whole thing.  Angry because sometimes the news feels like they are giving her 100% chance of hopefulness that all will be good and she will be "normal"  and then it feels like there is no hope for her at all.  I get frustrated because I have lived it, I do live it and I know the reality!!
She will not be the same.  Yeah, we don't have the same TBI, TBI is not the same for any of us, but there is hope for her to live a good life.  Just have to be patient and not a patient!
I cant even really put into proper words the feelings I get watching and hearing about her.  But it is bittersweet.  Part of me hopes that now that it is happened to someone in government and not "just" a Vet, NHL, or NFL player that bigger better things will be in place for those us that survive this.  That it will make it more real and more important.
Maybe it will  bring into light that those of us that have it are important and we are people.  That we are not "normal".  That we do  have problems even though they cannot be seen.  That maybe I won't feel like I have to wear a bandaid on my forehead to remind people that hey, I do have something up with me.  That some of the new parts of me are ok and y'all are just gonna have to deal with it like I do.
And seeing all of this makes me almost OCD about my TBI.  I am becoming more and more obesessed about it and telling people about it and just trying to be the best new version of me.
I hope that I do not need any more surgeries.  After each surgery I notice more differences in me.  But I do still rock!!!  I do like some of the differences and some of them just frustrate me.  But I am slowly accepting that I will never be the full old me and I have to learn more so that I can be a productive member of society again.

    Peace out!