Driving driving driving. I have gotten better, but driving long distances is tiring. From Pittsburgh to my dads house is 316 miles. It goes a lil something like this in my mind.
Get in car, check gas. get gas. Get on road and go balls to the wall. Turnpike, Turnpike, Turnpike, you are getting on the turnpike. Go go go.
Get to turnpike gates, pick a lane, what lane do I choose? What heads east the easiest, check all traffic, cars cars cars, pick a lane, get in line. Get to gate..push for ticket.
Go go go. Merge on turnpike, car in front of me, car behind me, traffic coming my way, wait wait wait wait, focus look behind....cars cars cars, is it safe to go is there enough space....Eh, I guess its ok now...car behind me honks. Shit, I guess I should go.
Speed limit sign check, check my speed...is this ok? Processing.
Am I going too slow? Am I going too fast? Processing.
Car behind me getting closer..hope they switch lanes. Processing.
Speed limit sign check, check my speed. Processing
Construction signs, read read read, Processing,.
What is the contstruction coming up? Do I switch lanes? Processing.
What does that advertisement sign say? read Processing.
OOOh...look at that pretty car...stare stare stare...Shit Hoban focus on driving. Processing
Crap was that a cop? Check my speed, do I hit brakes? Am I going to get pulled over? Was I going an ok Speed? Processing!
Ker-thump! What was that sound? What did I do? Did i hit something? Look around look around, Processing. A big bug splattered on window. Processing. Put on winshield wipers. Back and forth back and forth back and forth. Processing. Shit Hoban focus on driving. Processing.
Check gas do I have enough? Processing
Cars zooming by on left. Am I going to slow? Check speed. Processing.
OOOh..what does that sign say?? Read, Processing.
See, this is just a snippet of what it is like driving a long distance. This is just about the first 70 miles. This does not even begin to cover it, but I bet your are tired just reading this. It's interesting experience for sure.
What an amazing insight into your process. You are one brave little toaster.
ReplyDeleteCoping gets easier with time, believe me. I had tumor removed in Dec 91. Against best wishes I took a driver's ed class in 93. Back on the road in 94. Drove here and in Germany before and after. Everything is so much more congested in Germany....10 day trip, 2 fender benders. American Ins. was cancelled in 04. Against my wishes, I quit driving.
ReplyDeleteNow I sit behind computer and comment...lol
This is annoying, i'll just post on fb from now on.
ReplyDeleteYou've got it exactly right. Life with a TBI is all processing. And exhausting. Did you schedule in breaks or wait till you got tired? Did you listen to the radio? More processing, but makes the time pass and more pleasurably. Processing . . . I know what you mean. Can you imagine how worse it would have been to have a non-injured person with you *talking* at you the whole way? I'll be your dad was glad to see you, AND has no idea how much it took to get there. Great post.
ReplyDeleteDriving longer than 15/20 minutes makes the right side of my face numb, sick to my stomach, and very much lost inside of loss of impulse control. Not so bad when I am driving, but when I stop it takes hours todays to normalize. Not bvery fun.
ReplyDelete