positively positive

Yikes, who is this chick posting something with the word Positive in it??  Could it be Kara or did someone hijack her account???

Seriously, I don't know what happened but this is honestly the best version of me.  Getting my diamond encrusted platinum plate is apparently just what I needed.  Maybe I should have had one of these when I started going through puberty.  Keep me even keeled.  LOL

We all know I am Wonder Woman, but I am seriously rocking life hard core now like WW.  Completely balls to the wall.  I am done with being weak, pathetic, and unsure of myself.  I mean honestly, after each surgery I was a bit different.  Unsure, unstable (physically), skull flap less Pissed.  I know the anger was off the hook.  I was all over the place with emotions.  Crying in front of people.  YIKES, who does that?!?!?  :)

Now I am driving without really thinking about it or over analyzing.  I am calling people to get my life in order.  Applying for jobs left n right.  Had one interview.   Realizing maybe I don't need cognitive rehab, I just needed my plate and time to get used to being plated.  Maybe the other times before being flapless I was feeling off and weak because I had that infection eating at my skull.  Makes sense if you think about it.   So maybe this is the healthiest I have been in a long long time.  Maybe this is just what I needed.

I am not limiting myself any more.  Times when I want to quit something I loudly say to myself...and not in my head but actually out loud "Hoban stop mother fucking limiting your self.  You can do it!!!  TBI does not define you, it is just a part of you"

There are some things that I do want to be angry about, but I don't let it bother me any more.  Loss of friends...over that...moving on.   Loss of job, still hurts, but eh...their loss!!  Problems with my unemployment....Ok, whatever, I am working on it but not gonna let it put me over the edge.  Its not worth being angry....gotta move on and embrace this version of me.  Gotta roll with it.   Loving it!!!

Making new friends and getting my life back step by step.  ROCKS!!!!