Don't always expect funny

I know that I am known for being pretty funny and sarcastic. I am just going to say right now, don't always expect that from me on this.  It will come out sometimes, hell probably most of the time, but I feel it's only fair to give the disclaimer right up front.

I love how I have my degree in English Writing and have done nothing with it.  Which is fine since I just randomly picked a major that was "easy" and here I am writing writing writing away and liking it.  Maybe I should have scrambled my brain 13 years ago.

It is coming up on the one year anniversary of the "new" me.  What a frigging year it has been.  Multiple hospital stays, many trips from Western to Eastern PA, physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, cognitive therapy, neuropsych testing, etc.  Blowing away all my therapists and doctors with my skills.  Not being able to work and then the thrill of my first day back at work to now.  Well, we won't discuss now.  I won't discuss now because I am trying to have some class.  And lord knows with me, that does not happen often at all.  So write this day down in your calendar folks!

With the one year coming up, I am finally in the anger stage of all of this.  For the most part I have kept myself together over the year.  Yeah I have been annoyed now and then and probably down right pissed, but now I am in full blown pissed off mode.  Pissed at myself, pissed at the person I was with, pissed at life in general.  Again, I know I am lucky to be alive, I am lucky to be as cognitively aware of things.  I know I could have been a vegetable, I could have been paralyzed, I could have died.  I know this.  But sometimes I wonder, it's just a fleeting thought, if I would be better off if I was a little less self aware of my deficits, of my differences, of the "new" me, my new life.  Would I be happier if I did not realize these things? Who knows!

My phone used to ring or beep with texts from people to do stuff with.  Wanna go for a ride?  Lets go out to lunch? Wanna go for a walk/hike?  Lets go get our drink on!!!  (one of my favs...yeah go ahead judge me if you want, I don't care).  Or texting people til 1 or 2 or3 in the a.m.  Now it is mostly mom and dad making sure I am ok, CVS to remind me to get my meds or refill a script, and any of the numerous UPMC offices calling me about appointments.  My social life revolves around UPMC.  It's to the point where I like going to any of the hospitals my appointments are in.

This is a preview of my life.  I swear I will be funny sometimes..the "old" me.